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Tabloid writers spend most of their time thinking up puns to use as headlines.
OK, that isn't true. They spend most of their time in the pub trying to bribe Z-list celebrities. The point is that writing for business is not the same as writing for The Sun. What someone wants to read for entertainment is very different from what they want in an advert or brochure or direct mail letter.
In fact, they don't want the advert at all, so they won't spend time working out what you really meant.
I admit I've been guilty of this in the past. For example, I was asked to write an invitation to a bread-making theme day, aimed at clients of an accountancy firm. The brief was to try and make it stand out from all the other corporate entertainment invitations. The headline I used was
Knead dough? Make bread with your accountant.
I would not repeat this mistake.
As with any marketing, what matters is appealing to self interest. People read adverts with their reptile brain, not the bit they use to appreciate Oscar Wilde. So a headline has to say what it means. For example, meeting other business owners might be the hook that's needed:
Join like-minded business owners on a unique away day or
A unique business event - breadmaking for local business owners or
Make new business contacts while you're making gourmet bread
The only thing I would say in my defence is that I'd rather have my eye teeth extracted with pliers than go to this event and I suspect the invitees felt the same way.
Remember, you have a second or two at most before your reader goes elsewhere so make sure they know what you're offering, what's in it for them and what they'll be missing if they say no. Coincidentally, the SEO peformance of straightforward headlines will be far better than clever puns.
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