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Headlines aside (and clever headlines are best avoided), one of the biggest challenges with any piece of copy is how to start.
A favourite strategy in bad business copy is to state the bleeding obvious. A few years ago, every other piece of draft copy I was sent for improvement started with In these fast moving times.
I wish I could say that things have improved - the plat du jour is now In these challenging economic times (which has appeared twice in the first paragraph before now).
People do not need to be told that they are facing stiff competition, a tough economy or rising gas bills. A novelist once told me that the best way to start writing was to get the first few paragraphs down and then delete the first paragraph, which she said was always 'throat clearing'.
This is excellent advice. Get the challenging economic times out of your system first if necessary but then hit delete and tell the reader straight away what they will gain if they talk to you. As an example, read the two paragraphs below and see which one would make you buy a chair if you were an upmarket high street travel agent. The first is almost entirely about setting the scene, while the second talks directly and immediately to client priorities.
The marketplace for business furniture is highly competitive. Choosing the right chairs, desks and cabinets is only possible when you know which models represent the best value for particular applications. ACME chairs come with a five-year guarantee and you can be sure of a genuine commitment to customer service.
Furniture is one of the first things your customers see: it helps set the tone of their visit. Value matters, but so does making the right furniture choices. ACME works with travel firms throughout the UK to help them find the best possible combination of furniture, and our five-year no-quibble guarantee means that you know...etc
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